Facebook is the killer of true cool

I was lunching with my good friend Lance Schwartz the other day when we agreed on a very important point in an area where I  believe there might be some larger implications that no one's really discussed yet, at least on a community-wide scale.

Facebook, we agreed, has quickly become the root of many evils, and indirectly, the killer of cool.

Why? Well, I'll tell you why.

I was sitting at my computer the other day when I pulled up FB to see what's happening with my "friends." The first status update I see is from a little dude in my son's 5th grade class at Monroe Elementary. The update: this kid, whom I'll call Kyle, is "in a relationship."

WTF? SERSIOUSLY, PEOPLE?

Which got me to thinking ... This isn't the first time I've see this (especially from this little dude.) I've seen a lot of kids do this. In fact, it almost seems like using that little button has become a status symbol in itself, as if you haven't quite hit the pinnacle of cool until you've been able to use that. Or, better yet, the "is single" button. The implication here is that you're now done with that relationship and you're ready to move on, you're "back on the market" as it were.

This got me to thinking about my 5th grade days and what I was doing, how I was communicating with girls. I WASN'T. I was wrestling with my buddies and playing pickup hockey at the rink. Did we notice girls? Sure. Of course. But it was organic. The feelings you had were genuine, not fueled by some ridiculous need to keep up with standards infused by a FB, race-to-popularity sensibility.

I remember how, when a girl wanted your attention, she wrote you a note, folded it up like some mysterious piece of origami, and had a friend of hers hand it to you in the hallway. That girl would be watching you, of course, as you opened it. And when you saw that name, you looked around the room for that girl and when you saw her, if you were happy who the note was from, that first eye contact was like electricity. A girl wrote you a note. She was interested. And what was more, she was across the room if you needed to have anything clarified. ACROSS THE ROOM. Not across cyberspace, ACROSS THE ROOM.

Will kids ever have that electric feeling anymore? Or has it all been distilled and reduced by FB to whatever thrill comes from the sight of a little red dot letting you know someone "liked" your profile pic?

FB has rules that you need to be 18 to use it. They can't enforce that, of course. But it'd be nice if they could. I'd like to see minors off it entirely. Some stuff, like teen crushes, should only be dealt with in person.